It's just a matter of time.

I know it was such a bad idea to watch this tonight instead of saving it for after final exams, but I had to. Just couldn’t help myself.

But when I thought I couldn’t love her more, pretty sure this sealed the deal. Whew.

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After today, I think I would’ve punched myself in the face if I didn’t get this supply of wine. So now I am currently indulging in some wine and chocolate. While writing two papers, haha. Any of you who know me personally know that my texting skills are horrendous when even slightly intoxicated. I wonder if this will be the case for typing too.

Here’s to celebrating the end of stress from this morning’s exam and the start to tipsy paper writing!

Pretty much how I feel right now because of the exam I’ll be taking in less than 12 hours. Maybe I just need a new brain. This one’s obviously not cutting it.

So far, so accurate →

• Blue Ocean Floor

Alright, it’s happening.

Once places are open again (since it’s Sunday) I’m picking myself up a bottle of wine. Who cares if I’m a potential hazard to myself because of those pesky cork screws I’m supposedly too uncoordinated to handle. 

Here’s to sipping the rest of junior year away. Cheers.

If there’s anything I could have done differently today, it would be that I didn’t hesitate to go buy myself a bottle of wine. Yes, I know alcohol doesn’t make the problems go away, but it’d at least soothe the pain a little. Or at least until I fell asleep.

So it’s been exactly a week since the boy left. I’m basically torn between two feelings/thoughts: Why does it feel longer than a week? Was that time he spent here even real? I know it’s pretty over dramatic, and we’ve been doing long distance for almost, if not more than, four years now but it’s always the same. Every visit, every chance we spend together always feels like it was only an illusion. A speck of bliss that’s ripped from you the moment you turn your back for just a second. You’d think I’d be used to it by now. And yeah, we’ve both learned a lot from each other and even ourselves over the years, but that doesn’t really make up for the fact that you’re living an emotional roller coaster every day.

I’ll be honest, sometimes it feels like we’re spoiling each other by spending time together. So happy together, but the moment we have to leave we turn into complete wrecks. Then we try to keep our sadness from each other to avoid worrying the other. It’s like this vicious cycle of not trying to hurt the one you love but hurting yourself in the process. Pretty sure that isn’t doing much for my emotional health either.

So as the semester gets closer and closer to ending I think to myself, “Wow. When I come back in the fall I’ll be a senior. Where has the time gone?” But as scary as the real world sounds right about now, I can’t wait until graduation. It means one step closer to closing the distance between him and I for good. To be together in a way that we’ve been waiting for for six years and counting. We’ve paid our dues. It’s time to have a real relationship with each other, and not just through phones or computer screens.

So tomorrow…

At first I was having a dilemma because not only is it the season premiere of GoT season 3, but it’s also the season finale for The Walking Dead. Both at the same time of course. But then I said to myself, Who am I kidding? Game of Thrones is always the answer. So this time tomorrow I will be pushing my books aside for the long awaited return of this show.

dskjhgakgh. yay

For a little pep in your step →

The good things always go by too quickly, and the bad not quick enough.

The boyfriend left this morning. These past two weeks felt like two days. I won’t be too much of a bitcher, mostly because I know that I’ll be seeing him again soon enough. But every time either one of us leaves, it’s always the same pain that weighs you down. That feeling of letting go, and then the disappearance of that person. Almost as if none of it ever happened. That lingering question of when will I see you again. Still hurts. Every time.

Suppose it might be best to put a more positive twist on this. 

The sun’s out? Makes the void a tad less unbearable. And for once there’s at least a few photos of evidence that we actually did things together. I don’t know what it is, but when we’re together pictures are one of the last things I think about. I guess this whole long distance thing has conditioned me to live more for the moment. I say that now, but I’ll probably regret it later when I’m old and wrinkly and I want to look back on my life.

So the top one is my drunk ass making drunk faces. Mind you that was off of what, half a glass of wine? Lightweight people problems. The other is from our first date while he was here. Dessert was just too pretty looking to not take a picture, what can I say? And the last: we decided to be corny and put our own love lock on this fence. Nonetheless  it’s a cute sentiment that Pittsburgh can hold on to for us.  

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Guise. I’m so done with school already. Spring break honestly can’t come soon enough.

Anyway, saw this and thought it pretty much describes what’s going to happen when the boyfriend gets here. We’ve decided that we will be having a Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones marathon during his stay. Mainly because I’ve somehow managed not to finish Breaking Bad and he’s adamant that I finish. While I’m pretty demanding with making him watch Game of Thrones with me. So this picture couldn’t be any more perfect.

Let the marathon-ing begin

Oh dear.

BARRIO’S TODAY.

Having a slight panic attack at the moment thinking about it all the things that need to be done for tonight. Wish me luck guys, I’m gonna need it…

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What is this nonsense?! I’ve never gotten this much good news on a Monday before. Is it really Monday?

Anyway, I received a call a little while ago… Guess who’s making plans to go back to the homeland?! I know it’s off by like another 9 months or so, but December in the Philippines? Where it’s warm and beaches everywhere? I won’t fight it.

You’d think after 15 years it’s about time I went back…

Puddled so hard I think I just created a tsunami. In other words, I’m so fricken excited, lolz.

There’s just so much good news going on tonight that I can’t even be mad that I have a paper and two exams due for tomorrow. 

• Boyfriend’s not coming for just a week anymore, but two weeks. In exactly two weeks from today. Jkjsdhfsj <3
• After tomorrow, I’m taking a mental break. I’m gonna grab a few drinks and watch movies til I pass out.
• I say mental cause I still have this Filipino event to prep for. Dancing and food? I can dig it.
• And despite the funk I’ll be in after the boyfriend leaves, at least I’ll have the return of GoT to look forward to.

Just so many good things…